Why I Write

3 Years of CrossTalk

CrossTalk just turned three years old.

I started this newsletter as a sleep-deprived seminarian and youth pastor. I just wanted to have a reason to share my thoughts and develop a writing habit. After a lot of dreaming and some nudges from my brother to start a newsletter (thanks, Alex), I eventually relented.

And here we are….three years later.

That’s three whole years of reflecting on God’s action in the world as well as my personal life and writing what comes out of that.

CrossTalk is one of the best things I’ve done in my life and I’m sincerely grateful to everyone who reads it regularly. Your time, feedback, and encouragement mean more than you know.

So, today, I’d like to share a bit more about why I write.

Especially because this year has been the hardest year of CrossTalk to date. As some of you noticed, after years of a regular writing habit, I fell into a slump.

I was writing sparsely and having a difficult time putting pen to paper. My brain was foggy and ideas were sparse. The reasons for this are plenty.

I’d recently been sick. I was overwhelmed with work, I’d been traveling. Other life circumstances brought setbacks and discouragements. Eventually, these flooded out the thoughts that normally crowd my brain and my daily writing habit drifted off like the sunshine in winter.

And losing writing only exacerbated the problem.

Why? The answer to that is the reaction that prompted this essay.

Writing like my life depends on it

After forcing myself back on the writing saddle, I realized something.

When I’m not writing, I’m less alive.

When I’m not writing, I feel like I’m sleepwalking through life. Captive to the whims of forces beyond my control. Shaped and molded more by emails, tweets, and inconveniences.

Socrates famously quipped that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” While I inhabit a different view of the world, I do think he was onto something. When I write, I examine my life. I take inventory of my thoughts, desires, hopes, disappointments, prayers, experiences, and surroundings. I examine and reflect on them.

Another quote I love captures this idea. Eugene Peterson once wrote in his journal, “if I cannot run and write and pray, I cannot live.”

Eugene saw writing, running, and praying on the same level of importance as eating, sleeping, and showering. These things must be done.

Not just to exist - but to be alive.

For me, writing isn’t an optional add-on.

It’s as essential as eating dinner every night or going to church on Sunday morning. I can’t not do it. My soul requires it.

Without writing, my life falls flat and my senses dull. Days move on in a monotonous rhythm of work, chores, and meals. But writing makes me alive. It opens my eyes to the ways God is at work around me and helps me see the ways I am at work in his world.

But wait, there’s more

Writing also gives me a sense of congruency.

I feel strongly that God has made me a writer so when I’m not writing, I feel incongruent. My actions aren’t aligned with who I am.

Incongruency can feel like playing soccer with a wiffle ball or riding down the interstate on a bicycle. You’re not operating according to the design of things. This makes everything more difficult and significantly less enjoyable.

When you’re living congruently things are different.

You’re playing soccer with the right ball and driving down the interstate in a sports car. It feels right, natural, and fluid. You’re operating according to the design of the field and the road.

This is how I feel when I’m writing.

I’m operating according to God’s design of me. I’m playing the right game with the right ball. I’m on the right road in the right vehicle. There’s less friction and far more congruency.

It feels - and it is - right.

I’m not writing to get attention, more followers, or more money.

I’m writing to live how I was made.

To live congruently.

To live according to the wisdom of God.

I’m writing because if I don’t, I’m not fully alive.

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One last note…..

Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me these past 3 years.

I don’t take it for granted that so many of you have spent hours of your life reading my words.

It means so much.

Here’s to three more years 🎉

Yours in Christ,

JD